Filed under "conversations that really happened."
ME: How does this look?
HIM: It looks fine.
ME: You didn't even look.
HIM: That's cause I knew it would look fine. Besides, we're only going shopping.
ME: Sure, and that's when People of Walmart will be taking my picture.
HIM: Is that one of your goals?
ME: No, it's my biggest fear.
HIM: Well, at least you don't have back boobs.
I couldn't make this stuff up.