And the Season 11 American Idol Is...

Wow, all these kids are back on the finale of American Idol tonight and I seriously forgot most of them. Also, I don't understand why there's an extended dance routine from complete strangers in the middle of their opening number, especially since this is a show that is supposed to be about singing.  Are these people from some other Fox reality show that I'm - mercifully - unaware of?

I'm kinda wishing that somehow neither Phillip Phillips or Jessica Sanchez will win, but that in some sort of weird but incredibly fortuitous twist, Ryan Seacrest will be named the next American Idol. He deserves more than just money for being able to keep up the pretense that this show is still exciting and relevant.

John Fogerty is singing Have You Ever Seen The Rain with Phil and somehow Phil gets more applause. How can it be that I live in a world where this is possible? They also sing Bad Moon Rising, and John is such a nice guy that he doesn't even wince when Phil makes it sound all...wrong.

I hear Joshua Ledet performing Elton John's Take Me To The Pilot with Fantasia and once again I wonder why he didn't make it to the finale on his own, cause I think he was better than Fantasia. And she won.  Also, love how they just kept singing right into the commercial break. I like to think they'll still be there singing that same song all through this entire ep.

The ladies are doing some sort of disco medley with Chaka Khan. What's with all these one piece fitted cat suits? Cause seriously both Fantasia and Chaka could have done with slightly more concealing outfits.

During the Ford commercial, I detected screams for Phillip and yet not even a whisper for Jessica. Could that be a portent that we're gonna have another WGWG winner this year?

I kinda like that little guy who is there as Jessica's mentor. Can I go back to yesterday and vote for him to win? Question: Can they legally give a car to Jessica since she's not of age and may not even have a license yet? Look, these are just the kinds of things I think about.

I have no interest in this scantily clad pop singer, so I'm just gonna hit Mr. Mute Button and sit this one out. The lasers alone are giving me a migraine, I can't even imagine how terrible it sounds.

After the commercial break, we come back with Skylar Laine and her twin separated at birth musical inspiration, Reba McIntire singing some sort of rock-ish country song. I don't have enough interest to look up the name of it, and I'm thinking anyone who really cares probably already knows.

Next we have a tour of some random place they say is Steven Tyler's studio or apartment or garage or something.  Then Jessica Sanchez is up, singing more Whitney Houston, repeating her performance of I Will Always Love You. No one joins her on stage, so I'm guessing either she has no musical inspiration or who ever she wanted they couldn't get. Ryan doesn't explain why she's alone, so I guess we'll never know.

Did everyone know that she was on the first season of America's Got Talent? I just saw that when I was trying to find out if anyone else knew why she was all alone.

Anyway, now I join the guys, already in progress, singing a Neil Diamond medley. I think. Ah yes, and here is Neil himself. That's kinda fun.

I'm going to just ignore this weird "Singing the Phonebook" thing, cause it's not funny. And I'm sure even these kids wish they could have had nothing to do with it.

I'm glad there's this Jennifer Lopez section, cause my house is super hot right now and I need to go close all the windows and turn on the a/c for a little while. Plus I need to go potty and get a drink.

That was great! The break was long enough that I also got a chance to change into something cooler, clean up the kitchen and put away all the dishes in the strainer.

Ryan is scanning the crowd now, and recognizes Lauren Alaina, Taylor Hicks and then new couple Ace Young and Diana DiGarmo.  Ace looks crazy weird and then to make it even weirder, Ryan asks them on stage and Ace proposes. HE PROPOSES. On American Idol. (Then Constantine Maroulis re-tweeted someone who congratulated them on Twitter, cause all these people are sooooo classy.)

Anyway, since time is running out, Ryan basically pushes them to the side and announces Hollie Cavanaugh singing with Jordin Sparks. OK, I know I'm old, but when your musical idol is still basically a teenager herself, maybe you need a little bit more life experience. Or a lot more.

Other things may have just happened, but honestly, I was busy texting my friend Laura about Ace and Diana, and seeing what people thought on Twitter and I can really only do so many things at one time.

More of the guys, or some of them, performing a Bee Gees medley (badly) in honor of Robin Gibb passing this week.  (Just realized that this makes Barry the sole surviving Gibb boy, since Andy, Maurice and now Robin are all gone. And yes I know Andy wasn't in the Bee Gees, but he was still a Gibb boy.)

Here's my tribute to Robin, singing my favorite version of the Beatles Oh Darling from Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band:

Now we have Jessica singing And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going with Jennifer Holliday, who I guess is the original performer of this song on Broadway from back in the 80's or something. And here I thought it was a new thing for some musical that Jennifer Hudson was in. Or did she just make it popular?

Finally, some real music!!! Aerosmith on American Idol feels surreal, but I can turn up the volume all the way for the first time tonight. Or this season, for that matter. Does Steven Tyler even know how incredibly cool he is? And I love how Steven and Joe Perry love and hate each other at the same time. I guess when you've been together for 40+ years, you just develop that kind of relationship.

As we're closing in on the final ten minutes of show, Jessica and Phil sing a duet of Love Will Lift Us Up and again, interestingly, Phillip gets the screaming applause when he starts singing that Jessica does not get. Until the second time she sings (and Uncle Nigel has had time to get the "Applause" signs up for the audience). This is actually a good choice for these two, since it pairs a ballad singer (Jennifer Warnes) with a soulful singer  (Joe Cocker) in the original. But Phil and Jess still seem uncomfortably awkward singing together.

Now that we stand here at the last moment and Ryan is about to read the winner's name, I wonder if they've been putting up a smoke screen and Jessica is about to win, but then I realize that little girls with cell phones are the real winners here, when the fifth WGWG, Phillip Phillips is crowned American Idol 2012.

Was there really ever any doubt?

American Idol...It's Almost Over

From AmericanIdol.com

I know I need to blog about American Idol tonight, but I really can't seem to care about this show anymore.

First of all, Joshua was robbed.

Secondly, I'm busy inputting nutrition info about the Orville Redenbacher's Kettle Korn Single Serve bags, cause I just ate one and I need to record it in my food diary. And, for some reason, it's not in there.

Oh, and I am a little curious as to why they changed from Wednesday/Thursday to Tuesday/Wednesday for the finale, since I almost forgot about it entirely. But I doubt anyone will ever give me a satisfactory answer anyway.

As a result of the night change, I had to record the show this week and so it's already been over by like an hour as I'm watching. That's a good thing, actually, cause it means I can watch the whole thing in about 20 minutes.

In any case, since I don't really like either of these kids and I couldn't care less who wins at this point, I'm not going to try to give specific commentary after each song. Unless they do something that just totally has to be pointed out. Like sucking.

Round One
Jessica Sanchez - I Have Nothing, Whitney Houston
Phillip Phillips - Stand By Me, Ben E. King

OK, so they let Little Jessica Rabbit sing a Whitney song, as she's clearly demonstrated throughout this season that she can mimic Whitney and sound great doing it, but they gave P2 an iconic song known for it's simple yet strong melody, when he's proven, again and again, that melody is not his thing.

No, I don't think they're trying to throw this competition. Not at all.

They just don't want another WGWG* winning again this year.

The best part about watching this show late is that I get to fast forward through who ever this guy is, singing whatever that song is, that supposedly we all helped him write. I promise you, I had nothing whatsoever to do with that.


Round Two
Jessica Sanchez - The Prayer, Celine Dion
Phillip Phillips - Movin' Out, Billy Joel

So Jess is clearly gonna be spinning the divas tonight, but I guess that's her wheelhouse and we want her to win. Not me, but you know, some people somewhere, who are clearly in a position to do something about it.

Meanwhile, Billy Joel is turning over in his grave at what Phil just did to that song, isn't he?  I mean, like if Billy Joel were already dead and that didn't actually kill him. And notice how I'm not even mentioning when he messed up the words. Cause probably only Billy and I really noticed anyway.


Round Three
Jessica Sanchez - Change Nothing
Phillip Phillips - Home


I'm not sure why they think this little girl should sing songs about love and heartache and grown up emotions. She's not there yet, but maybe in a few millennium. Or is that millennia? No, I don't think that's a word. Anyway, if this is the kind of thing she plans on recording, I realize once again why I don't like her. I wouldn't listen to this crap if they were paying me.

Before even hearing Phillip, I would say that this round should go to him, cause he'll be singing as himself, which is basically what he does on every song. So it may finally sound the way it's supposed to sound. Probably. Or maybe not. I wasn't excited by that anymore than by what Jessica did. I will not be purchasing   this or anything like it. Ever.

Wow, was that like the most lackluster finale ever? Last year was all country and it sucked, but even that was more interesting than this year.

I'd say that Phillip should win, cause they don't want him to, and I hope they get what they don't want.

Whoever they are.


___________________________________________


*White Guy With Guitar

Hometown Touring on American Idol

From AmericanIdol.com

Oh no! I have to sit through hometown visits on American Idol this week, don't I?  Sigh.

So for our three selections tonight, the judges picked the first song, the kids pick the second and Jimmy Iovine picks the third. And here we go.

Judge's Picks
Joshua Ledet - I'd Rather Go Blind, Etta James - My husband walked into the room while Joshua was singing and said, "He should win, shouldn't he?" I think that says it all.

Jessica Sanchez - Some Mariah Carey Song - At this point, my computer decided to melt down and so I basically missed both Jessica's song and Phillip's song. Mostly cause I was busy having a melt down of my own.

But just before that, while we were listening to Jessica sing, we were both thinking, "wow, this is pretty weak." Then the judges came on and said good things about it, which makes make me positive that they are all doing drugs.

Phillip Phillips - I honestly have no idea what song he sang or what I thought about it.  I'm pretty sure he sounded exactly the same as usual. So depending on your outlook, that's either good or bad.

Idols Picks
Joshua Ledet - Imagine, John Lennon - I don't think this song did Joshua any favors. It basically has no hook and that arrangement didn't allow for any moments.  Add to that, that this is just the sort of song people either love or hate. I'd like to see him stay on and win, but I don't think that helped him any. Sure, he can babble on about how the song has a message or whatever, but I don't think people really care about that.


Jessica Sanchez - I Don't Want To A Miss A Thing, Aerosmith - OK, I'll admit it, Jessica's hometown package made me cry a little and just, almost, begin to like her. Just the teensy, tiniest bit.  But I'm sorry, this is not Jessica's night, cause I thought that was pretty weak, too.

Phillip Phillips - Disease, Matchbox 20 - The judges are saying this is just OK, but it sounded just the same as everything else he's done, excepting that one song he sang that one time (maybe last week or the week before?), so they should love it as much as they loved all the others. Except that they don't want another WGWG American Idol.


Jimmy's Picks
Joshua Ledet - No More Drama, Mary J. Blige - I was a little worried when he started this, cause I had no idea where he planned to take it. But I should have had a little faith in Jimmy. That was soooo good. Joshua should totally win this thing.


Jessica Sanchez - I'll Be There, The Jackson Five - Just before Jessica starts to sing, my husband chimes in with, "She should win. She's hot." Seriously?  Didn't we just agree that both her songs so far have been weak? "Yes, but she can sing and she's hot." Sigh.  This song was actually a good pick for Jessica, so score 2 for Jimmy, cause it was a perfect match for her voice. But it was a little on the boring side and Jessica really needed a good moment or two tonight.

Phillip Phillips - We've Got Tonight, Bob Seeger - At one point in there, Phil almost sounded like Seegs Baby. Which is what we called Bob Seeger back in the day, that being like the 70's when we were all weirder than we are now. Except for that one little lyrics mistake, that was actually good. I don't think it was great, but it was good.

Well, if there is any justice, Joshua will make it to next week. My guess is he will be joined by Phillip. Or maybe Jessica.

How's that for good guessing?