TV Lazy

I think I figured out my problem.

I'm lazy.

Not in a I-don't-ever-do-anything way, cause somehow I'm always busy. But more in a I-wish-I-didn't-have-to-do-anything-ever, way. And also in a that's-too-much-trouble-and-I-just-don't-care-enough-to-be-bothered way.

As a result, I watch way too much TV.

TV is like my plan. It's seriously how I decide what I'm going to do and when I'm going to do it. I even have an Excel spreadsheet so I can keep track of everything. I may have mentioned that before.

So we had just upgraded to this awesome whole house DVR thing with Time Warner, so I could watch and re-watch all my shows from everywhere.

It helped, cause it allowed me to watch stuff while cooking in the kitchen, something I couldn't do before. I'd be so frustrated, cause I wanted to finish watching whatever that was on the DVR upstairs cause I had more shows coming on that night and it all started to pile up and since there were more new shows every night, I constantly felt behind the eight ball. Like watching TV was my job. Honestly, I gave it even more value than my job.

And then we moved.

We moved to a place where they have their own cable network. Seriously. As a result of that, they don't even have DVRs. If you want something like that you have to buy it. So I bought one. But it's like an old VCR in that you can only record one thing at a time and you have to be watching that channel to record on it. Which basically negates the point of recording a show at all.  Cause, you know, I need to record the shows on the other channels. The channels I'm not watching right now.

We've been living like this for more than a year now and I learned something. I don't have to watch that much TV. I really had to make some choices, I had to eliminate shows. It was hard, but less hard than I thought it would be.

All of which brings me to the point here, and that  is why I stopped watching American Idol this year. I just can't fit it in.

And also Steven Tyler is gone.

Oh, and also, they've ripped my heart out just one too many times.

And the Season 11 American Idol Is...

Wow, all these kids are back on the finale of American Idol tonight and I seriously forgot most of them. Also, I don't understand why there's an extended dance routine from complete strangers in the middle of their opening number, especially since this is a show that is supposed to be about singing.  Are these people from some other Fox reality show that I'm - mercifully - unaware of?

I'm kinda wishing that somehow neither Phillip Phillips or Jessica Sanchez will win, but that in some sort of weird but incredibly fortuitous twist, Ryan Seacrest will be named the next American Idol. He deserves more than just money for being able to keep up the pretense that this show is still exciting and relevant.

John Fogerty is singing Have You Ever Seen The Rain with Phil and somehow Phil gets more applause. How can it be that I live in a world where this is possible? They also sing Bad Moon Rising, and John is such a nice guy that he doesn't even wince when Phil makes it sound all...wrong.

I hear Joshua Ledet performing Elton John's Take Me To The Pilot with Fantasia and once again I wonder why he didn't make it to the finale on his own, cause I think he was better than Fantasia. And she won.  Also, love how they just kept singing right into the commercial break. I like to think they'll still be there singing that same song all through this entire ep.

The ladies are doing some sort of disco medley with Chaka Khan. What's with all these one piece fitted cat suits? Cause seriously both Fantasia and Chaka could have done with slightly more concealing outfits.

During the Ford commercial, I detected screams for Phillip and yet not even a whisper for Jessica. Could that be a portent that we're gonna have another WGWG winner this year?

I kinda like that little guy who is there as Jessica's mentor. Can I go back to yesterday and vote for him to win? Question: Can they legally give a car to Jessica since she's not of age and may not even have a license yet? Look, these are just the kinds of things I think about.

I have no interest in this scantily clad pop singer, so I'm just gonna hit Mr. Mute Button and sit this one out. The lasers alone are giving me a migraine, I can't even imagine how terrible it sounds.

After the commercial break, we come back with Skylar Laine and her twin separated at birth musical inspiration, Reba McIntire singing some sort of rock-ish country song. I don't have enough interest to look up the name of it, and I'm thinking anyone who really cares probably already knows.

Next we have a tour of some random place they say is Steven Tyler's studio or apartment or garage or something.  Then Jessica Sanchez is up, singing more Whitney Houston, repeating her performance of I Will Always Love You. No one joins her on stage, so I'm guessing either she has no musical inspiration or who ever she wanted they couldn't get. Ryan doesn't explain why she's alone, so I guess we'll never know.

Did everyone know that she was on the first season of America's Got Talent? I just saw that when I was trying to find out if anyone else knew why she was all alone.

Anyway, now I join the guys, already in progress, singing a Neil Diamond medley. I think. Ah yes, and here is Neil himself. That's kinda fun.

I'm going to just ignore this weird "Singing the Phonebook" thing, cause it's not funny. And I'm sure even these kids wish they could have had nothing to do with it.

I'm glad there's this Jennifer Lopez section, cause my house is super hot right now and I need to go close all the windows and turn on the a/c for a little while. Plus I need to go potty and get a drink.

That was great! The break was long enough that I also got a chance to change into something cooler, clean up the kitchen and put away all the dishes in the strainer.

Ryan is scanning the crowd now, and recognizes Lauren Alaina, Taylor Hicks and then new couple Ace Young and Diana DiGarmo.  Ace looks crazy weird and then to make it even weirder, Ryan asks them on stage and Ace proposes. HE PROPOSES. On American Idol. (Then Constantine Maroulis re-tweeted someone who congratulated them on Twitter, cause all these people are sooooo classy.)

Anyway, since time is running out, Ryan basically pushes them to the side and announces Hollie Cavanaugh singing with Jordin Sparks. OK, I know I'm old, but when your musical idol is still basically a teenager herself, maybe you need a little bit more life experience. Or a lot more.

Other things may have just happened, but honestly, I was busy texting my friend Laura about Ace and Diana, and seeing what people thought on Twitter and I can really only do so many things at one time.

More of the guys, or some of them, performing a Bee Gees medley (badly) in honor of Robin Gibb passing this week.  (Just realized that this makes Barry the sole surviving Gibb boy, since Andy, Maurice and now Robin are all gone. And yes I know Andy wasn't in the Bee Gees, but he was still a Gibb boy.)

Here's my tribute to Robin, singing my favorite version of the Beatles Oh Darling from Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band:

Now we have Jessica singing And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going with Jennifer Holliday, who I guess is the original performer of this song on Broadway from back in the 80's or something. And here I thought it was a new thing for some musical that Jennifer Hudson was in. Or did she just make it popular?

Finally, some real music!!! Aerosmith on American Idol feels surreal, but I can turn up the volume all the way for the first time tonight. Or this season, for that matter. Does Steven Tyler even know how incredibly cool he is? And I love how Steven and Joe Perry love and hate each other at the same time. I guess when you've been together for 40+ years, you just develop that kind of relationship.

As we're closing in on the final ten minutes of show, Jessica and Phil sing a duet of Love Will Lift Us Up and again, interestingly, Phillip gets the screaming applause when he starts singing that Jessica does not get. Until the second time she sings (and Uncle Nigel has had time to get the "Applause" signs up for the audience). This is actually a good choice for these two, since it pairs a ballad singer (Jennifer Warnes) with a soulful singer  (Joe Cocker) in the original. But Phil and Jess still seem uncomfortably awkward singing together.

Now that we stand here at the last moment and Ryan is about to read the winner's name, I wonder if they've been putting up a smoke screen and Jessica is about to win, but then I realize that little girls with cell phones are the real winners here, when the fifth WGWG, Phillip Phillips is crowned American Idol 2012.

Was there really ever any doubt?

American Idol...It's Almost Over

From AmericanIdol.com

I know I need to blog about American Idol tonight, but I really can't seem to care about this show anymore.

First of all, Joshua was robbed.

Secondly, I'm busy inputting nutrition info about the Orville Redenbacher's Kettle Korn Single Serve bags, cause I just ate one and I need to record it in my food diary. And, for some reason, it's not in there.

Oh, and I am a little curious as to why they changed from Wednesday/Thursday to Tuesday/Wednesday for the finale, since I almost forgot about it entirely. But I doubt anyone will ever give me a satisfactory answer anyway.

As a result of the night change, I had to record the show this week and so it's already been over by like an hour as I'm watching. That's a good thing, actually, cause it means I can watch the whole thing in about 20 minutes.

In any case, since I don't really like either of these kids and I couldn't care less who wins at this point, I'm not going to try to give specific commentary after each song. Unless they do something that just totally has to be pointed out. Like sucking.

Round One
Jessica Sanchez - I Have Nothing, Whitney Houston
Phillip Phillips - Stand By Me, Ben E. King

OK, so they let Little Jessica Rabbit sing a Whitney song, as she's clearly demonstrated throughout this season that she can mimic Whitney and sound great doing it, but they gave P2 an iconic song known for it's simple yet strong melody, when he's proven, again and again, that melody is not his thing.

No, I don't think they're trying to throw this competition. Not at all.

They just don't want another WGWG* winning again this year.

The best part about watching this show late is that I get to fast forward through who ever this guy is, singing whatever that song is, that supposedly we all helped him write. I promise you, I had nothing whatsoever to do with that.


Round Two
Jessica Sanchez - The Prayer, Celine Dion
Phillip Phillips - Movin' Out, Billy Joel

So Jess is clearly gonna be spinning the divas tonight, but I guess that's her wheelhouse and we want her to win. Not me, but you know, some people somewhere, who are clearly in a position to do something about it.

Meanwhile, Billy Joel is turning over in his grave at what Phil just did to that song, isn't he?  I mean, like if Billy Joel were already dead and that didn't actually kill him. And notice how I'm not even mentioning when he messed up the words. Cause probably only Billy and I really noticed anyway.


Round Three
Jessica Sanchez - Change Nothing
Phillip Phillips - Home


I'm not sure why they think this little girl should sing songs about love and heartache and grown up emotions. She's not there yet, but maybe in a few millennium. Or is that millennia? No, I don't think that's a word. Anyway, if this is the kind of thing she plans on recording, I realize once again why I don't like her. I wouldn't listen to this crap if they were paying me.

Before even hearing Phillip, I would say that this round should go to him, cause he'll be singing as himself, which is basically what he does on every song. So it may finally sound the way it's supposed to sound. Probably. Or maybe not. I wasn't excited by that anymore than by what Jessica did. I will not be purchasing   this or anything like it. Ever.

Wow, was that like the most lackluster finale ever? Last year was all country and it sucked, but even that was more interesting than this year.

I'd say that Phillip should win, cause they don't want him to, and I hope they get what they don't want.

Whoever they are.


___________________________________________


*White Guy With Guitar

Hometown Touring on American Idol

From AmericanIdol.com

Oh no! I have to sit through hometown visits on American Idol this week, don't I?  Sigh.

So for our three selections tonight, the judges picked the first song, the kids pick the second and Jimmy Iovine picks the third. And here we go.

Judge's Picks
Joshua Ledet - I'd Rather Go Blind, Etta James - My husband walked into the room while Joshua was singing and said, "He should win, shouldn't he?" I think that says it all.

Jessica Sanchez - Some Mariah Carey Song - At this point, my computer decided to melt down and so I basically missed both Jessica's song and Phillip's song. Mostly cause I was busy having a melt down of my own.

But just before that, while we were listening to Jessica sing, we were both thinking, "wow, this is pretty weak." Then the judges came on and said good things about it, which makes make me positive that they are all doing drugs.

Phillip Phillips - I honestly have no idea what song he sang or what I thought about it.  I'm pretty sure he sounded exactly the same as usual. So depending on your outlook, that's either good or bad.

Idols Picks
Joshua Ledet - Imagine, John Lennon - I don't think this song did Joshua any favors. It basically has no hook and that arrangement didn't allow for any moments.  Add to that, that this is just the sort of song people either love or hate. I'd like to see him stay on and win, but I don't think that helped him any. Sure, he can babble on about how the song has a message or whatever, but I don't think people really care about that.


Jessica Sanchez - I Don't Want To A Miss A Thing, Aerosmith - OK, I'll admit it, Jessica's hometown package made me cry a little and just, almost, begin to like her. Just the teensy, tiniest bit.  But I'm sorry, this is not Jessica's night, cause I thought that was pretty weak, too.

Phillip Phillips - Disease, Matchbox 20 - The judges are saying this is just OK, but it sounded just the same as everything else he's done, excepting that one song he sang that one time (maybe last week or the week before?), so they should love it as much as they loved all the others. Except that they don't want another WGWG American Idol.


Jimmy's Picks
Joshua Ledet - No More Drama, Mary J. Blige - I was a little worried when he started this, cause I had no idea where he planned to take it. But I should have had a little faith in Jimmy. That was soooo good. Joshua should totally win this thing.


Jessica Sanchez - I'll Be There, The Jackson Five - Just before Jessica starts to sing, my husband chimes in with, "She should win. She's hot." Seriously?  Didn't we just agree that both her songs so far have been weak? "Yes, but she can sing and she's hot." Sigh.  This song was actually a good pick for Jessica, so score 2 for Jimmy, cause it was a perfect match for her voice. But it was a little on the boring side and Jessica really needed a good moment or two tonight.

Phillip Phillips - We've Got Tonight, Bob Seeger - At one point in there, Phil almost sounded like Seegs Baby. Which is what we called Bob Seeger back in the day, that being like the 70's when we were all weirder than we are now. Except for that one little lyrics mistake, that was actually good. I don't think it was great, but it was good.

Well, if there is any justice, Joshua will make it to next week. My guess is he will be joined by Phillip. Or maybe Jessica.

How's that for good guessing?

Did You Ever Think Queen Would Perform On American Idol?

I've given  up on watching the Thursday night ep of American Idol entirely.  I was just finding a way to watch it later online, but I realized that all I want to know is who got kicked off. So all I have to do is check Twitter. I don't miss seeing the show at all, cause I mostly fast forwarded through everything but the eliminations anyway.

My husband asked me who was going to sing Bohemian Rhapsody and Crazy Little Thing Called Love tonight and I wept a little. I just don't care about any of these people and it seems like every year it gets worse and worse. Where are the people I love?? Granted, last year I liked Casey Abrams, but I'm talking about love. Real, honest to goodness, they-just-better-win love. Like the kind of love I felt in years past for people like Ruben Studdard, Taylor Hicks, Constantine Maroulis, Jason Castro and Adam Lambert. Or even people you just love to hate, like Sanjaya Malakar.  At least he made things interesting.

Right now I'm sitting through this Queen medley and I'm sobbing quietly for what we've lost as human beings. These boring, lackluster children should not be singing with Brian May and Roger Taylor. Freddie is turning over in his grave right now.

The kids are all singing two songs again tonight. Cause they have to fill up two hours. Cause they hate me. I truly believe it's personal, too. Does it ever occur to anyone that if they let them just do one song, they can do a longer version and it would give them more to work with?

Jessica Sanchez - Bohemian Rhapsody - Her eyes are blank; she just has this empty stare at the camera. It's like she has no idea that she's actually singing about anything at all. Does anyone else remember when Constantine sang this on American Idol for the very first time? It was amazing and it changed the show forever. This was not that.

Skylar Laine - The Show Must Go On -  I wouldn't have thought of that song for her, but then I don't know what Queen song I would have picked for her.  As it turns out, this actually wasn't that bad.  I hate to have to say it, but as much as I hate country music and country singing, she's sorta OK.

Think anyone will sing anything good, like Gimme The Prize or Seaside Rendezvous? No, probably not.

Joshua Ledet - Crazy Little Thing Called Love - I've said it before and I'll say it again, no one who isn't Freddie Mercury should ever attempt to sing the word "jellyfish" on a live stage.  Joshua didn't, so good on him. Or if he did, I completely missed it, so even better.  I like Joshua and, although I kinda wish he'd picked a song that hasn't been done and done and done, I liked that. I hope he hangs around until the finale, but I'm not betting on it. (OK, I just went back to watch this over on Rickey and he did say "jellyfish" but he did it so well, it didn't stick out in a terrible way, like it did for David Radford in S5.)

Elise Testone - I Want It All - OK, now this song just makes me think of that car commercial or JC Penney commercial or whatever.  She sounds pretty good, but it was a little anticlimactic somehow. Not sure what it was missing, but something.

Phillip Phillips - Fat Bottom Girls - I don't get it. Maybe I just don't like his sound, cause it's just not...like-able. He sounds the same every week; exactly, exactly the same.

Hollie Cavanagh - Save Me - If I know this song, I have no idea. I seriously don't recognize it, even though my research shows that it came out while I was in high school and, therefore, definitely listening to the radio.  Now I'm gonna have to go listen to it on YouTube, cause I need to know what it really sounds like.

And now we start the second hour of this unbelievably long, long show.

Jessica Sanchez - Dance With My Father Again, Luther Vandross - This is an R&B song? Whatever. Once again, I think she just has no connection with anything. Her voice is nice, but I don't think she brings anything new or interesting or refreshing to any of these songs.

Skylar Laine - Tattoos on This Town, Jason Aldean - It's time for me to take a drink break. But before I go, isn't this guy the same one who did a duet with Kelly Clarkson last  year? Or someone?

Joshua Ledet - Ready for Love, India.Arie - Let me just say first that the back lighting makes his ears look like he could use them to fly around the room. But, otherwise, that was just beautiful.

Elise Testone - Bold as Love, Jimmy Hendrix - I'm having a hard time understanding what she's saying. It's like she's slurring all her words together or something.  I didn't like that at all. And I like Jimmy Hendrix.

Phillip Phillips - The Stone, Dave Matthews - Maybe it's something with  my TV, cause I can barely understand him either. Don't they realize I have to look up the names of these songs and I can't do that without the lyrics?? That did nothing for me and I guess people just like him cause they like him and the rest doesn't matter.

Hollie Cavanagh - The Climb, Miley Cyrus - While she hits all the notes adequately, she still doesn't seem connected to the song the way she should be. But maybe that's just me.  At this point, I just wish I could have the last hour of my life back.

The bottom three, for me, are Jessica, Elise and Hollie. And Phillip.  Basically, I only liked Joshua, but Skylar wasn't terrible, so she can stay another week.

American Idol Searches for Soul

They're performing two songs each tonight on American Idol. This is so they can find a way to fill up two entire hours of my life, even though they only have 7 people singing.

Hollie Cavanagh - Rolling in the Deep, Adele - Please, hasn't this song been done enough?? And who dresses this kid, her grandma? She could not look more "old lady" if that's what she was going for. As for the song, that was the best she's sounded since, like, forever. I still don't think that's gonna save her, but maybe I'm wrong.

Colton Dixon - Bad Romance, Lady Gaga - This choice surprises me a little, since I don't think of Colton's voice as being high and full enough for this.  I'm right, it's not.  The effects were interesting, but I don't think that song did him any favors. If he wanted to rock it out, couldn't he have found something....more better?

Elise Testone - No One, Alicia Keys - She sounds pretty good this week, but the way she's standing there, with her knees together and kinda bobbing up and down, looks like she has to pee and is just trying to hold it in until she's done singing. What confuses me the most, however, is how Randy is glad she's sticking to the melody and not concerned that she "make it your own" like they usually say.  I guess it just depends on his mood. Either way, Elise's time is nearly done, I think.

Phillip Phillips - You Got It Bad, Usher - OK, maybe it's just me, but he sounds exactly the same as he sounds every other week. He's like Dave Matthews Lite. Maybe he should have tried the Gaga. I can't believe he has as big a fan base as everyone seems to think. He may actually be in trouble this week.

Was there seriously no good music in the last decade?

Jessica Sanchez - Fallin', Alicia Keys - I'd say the disconnect is that she just comes across as an entitled brat. But that didn't hurt little Lauren Alaina last year, so it shouldn't really be that big of an issue for Jessica, especially since Jessica can actually sing. She's safe, at least for this week.  But you can see what I think about her chances here.

Skylar Laine - Born This Way, Lady Gaga - She always sounds good in her country way and that's true even when she's singing country Gaga. I don't get country, but people seem to like it, so I'd say she's safe for a couple more weeks, at least.

Joshua Ledet - I Believe, Fantasia - Joshua was made to sing Fantasia. Look, I don't mind going to church every week, and I think Joshua is probably the best this year. But I don't think he's gonna win and he may be looking at the end sooner rather than later, especially if two people are going to be voted off tomorrow night.

Alright, the saddest part of right now, is that there's still another hour left to this show.  Maybe I could just stop right now and call it a night?

So now we go on to the Soul Train part of the evening....

Hollie Cavanagh - Son of a Preacher Man, Dusty Springfield  - I was looking down at the keyboard when she came down the stairs so I missed it, but my husband was scandalized, cause he said the angle of the camera allowed all of America a look up her skirt. Um, I guess the theme here is really just songs from the 60's, cause as far as I know, Dusty Springfield was not known as a soul singer. Anyway, I think Hollie would have been better to have stopped after the first song. The judges can't say that, though, cause they have to pump her up in a weird kind of reverse psychology. They so want Hollie gone.

Colton Dixon - September, Earth, Wind &Fire - So is anyone going to make any snotty remarks about Colton playing around with the melody. I like Colton, usually, but so far tonight he hasn't hit it for me. My husband said, this doesn't bother me at all, and I said, I don't like what he did with this song, then my husband said, I don't know this song, and I said, of course you do... (in falsetto) "do you remember, the 21st night of September" and then he joined me, (also in falsetto) "ba de ya, say do you remember..." YES, THAT SONG! This wasn't that.

Elise Testone - Let's Get It On, Marvin Gaye - That was good. I had some doubts about her pulling it off, but she did it.  If the judges are still using that reverse psychology thing, then they want people to vote for Elise this week.  Paula Jennifer needs to stop drinking from the Coke cup, cause she's starting to make less and less sense.  I have nothing to say about Randy and his Al Green comment.

Phillip Phillips - In The Midnight Hour, Wilson Pickett - Please, please tell me how that sounds any different from that other song he sang earlier? Seriously, I'll bet if you laid every song he's ever song on this show over the top of each one, they would all fall into the same exact pattern, with the weird stretchy-faced grimace and the one long drawn out note near the end. Someone do this for me. I beg you.

Ooh, I just saw John Noble from Fringe sitting in the audience behind Kris Allen.  I met him at NY Comic Con. John Noble, not Kris Allen.

Jessica Sanchez - Try A Little Tenderness, Otis Redding - Even my husband had to say she's over doing it now. I don't like her any better than I did before she sang.  And the judges are still trying to confuse us by not showering their favorite with praise. How else to get stupid America voting for all it's worth?

Skylar Laine - Heard It Through the Grapevine, Marvin Gaye - That almost didn't sound country. Well, except for the fiddle player. I think I almost liked that.

Joshua Ledet - A Change is Gonna Come, Sam Cooke - That was good and it was right in his wheelhouse, as they say, but I think I still like Adam Lambert's version better. I just hope Joshua is safe this week, cause he deserves to stay for longer than he's probably going to stay.

OK, so picking a bottom three based on what I want, it would would be Hollie, Jessica and Phillip.  But it will probably be Elise, Hollie and Colton. If we are losing two people tomorrow, I'd have to say Hollie and Elise are in trouble.

The Idols Sing Their Idols

This week on American Idol, the guest mentor is Stevie Nicks. Although, I would never have been able to tell by looking at her.  The kids also get some more unheeded advice by Tommy Hilfiger. Then we get to be thrilled by the Idols singing songs by their idols. I'm guessing these are all people who were born after 1980.

Colton Dixon - Everything, Lifehouse - So this week Colton is also taking it to church, although his church seems to be more laid back and emo than the one attended by Joshua Ledet. I didn't hate that, but I didn't love it either.  I wasn't moved, but maybe there was more emotion in the live performance, cause the judges seemed to love it. I guess Uncle Nigel, along with Jimmy, has also decided that Colton is the dark horse in this race.  Better him than PhillipSquared.

Skylar Laine - Gunpowder and Lead, Miranda Lambert - I guess Skylar has the same idol as Lauren Alaina, since she sang this last year. Or at least I assume she did, since I vaguely recognize it and there's no other way that could have happened, since I avoid country music at all cost.

OK, what exactly is happening here? Colton, Philip and Elise are singing a Fleetwood Mac medley together. Shouldn't these types of group sings be happening tomorrow night? I guess they just need a way fill in this two hour show block. I wish they wouldn't do it at my expense.

Heejun Han - A Song For You, Donnie Hathaway - Apparently, Heejun has come to the realization that American Idol is a singing competition and not just a place for his stand up routine. Or at least that's what they're saying, but could he really be one hundred percent serious with that scarf or whatever on his head? In any case, that wasn't perfect, there were some pitch issues and he still missed the ends of some words, including that "s" that Jimmy told him not to, but it was definitely ten steps up from what he's been delivering every other week.

Now there's some guy with a neck brace that I'm guessing everyone but me recognizes. But I don't care about him, so I'm just fast forwarding through it.

Hollie Cavanagh - Jesus Take The Wheel, Carrie Underwood - I'm totally fast forwarding through this, too.  I almost liked Hollie once,when I thought she just had a speech impediment, but now I'm wondering what this British chick is doing on American Idol. Don't they have Britain's Got Talent over there?  Also, anyone who says that their idol is someone from American Idol just doesn't count.

DeAndre Brackensick - Sometimes I Cry, Eric Benet - You can tell that this is just what the kid wants to be singing, cause he seems very comfortable here. It was probably pretty good, for the kind of singing that it is, but I don't care for all that falsetto. Unless you're Prince, cause then it's OK. And for the record, I mentioned Prince before Steven did.

Jessica Sanchez - Sweet Dreams, Beyonce - Her mom is a performer? Did we know this? If they said the name of this song and who sings it, I missed it. I'm guessing is something so main stream that they expect everyone knows it. I don't. I did a quick lyrics search to find it, which wasn't easy cause Jessica Rabbit seems to be slurring her words this evening.  This was not her best performance, but I don't like her anymore anyway.

DeAndre, Heejun and Joshua do another group sing thing, although I still have no idea why.

Phillip Phillips - Still Rainin', Jonny Lang - It sounded like Phillip said he was singing a song called Steel Rain, so I had to look it up. Please tell me why it was necessary for Jimmy Iovine to get some sort of affirmation from Stevie Nicks on my time. I can already tell that everyone is going to say that was the best thing since sliced bread, but I feel like he sounds exactly like he sounds every other week.  For all I know, he's been singing the exact same song each week.

Joshua Ledet - Without You, Badfinger - Um....his Idol is Badfinger? That doesn't seem right. Apparently, someone covered this in the 90's or something. I guess his tears are meant to convey his deep emotional connection to the song. Or he thought it worked so well for Colton, he figured he should try it out, too.

Does Randy have to keep telling me how he's friends with every single person who's songs are being sung? Was he just hanging out with Donnie Hathaway last week, too?  Of course, since he died in the 70's I'm guessing that would be a little difficult.  Except for Randy.

I am so ready for this show to be over now. Please tell me it's almost done.

Oh no. Another trio. This time its Hollie, Skylar and Jessica. Thankfully I can fast forward. One question though. Couldn't they have done stuff like this back in the days when I cared about the contestants and would have loved to hear them sing more.

Elise Testone - Whole Lotta Love, Led Zeppelin - Finally, a song I like. This isn't actually a singer's song, so it doesn't show her vocals off that well, but it's fun and she's in the pimp spot, so I don't think she has anything to worry about this week.

I think Jessica, Hollie and Skylar could be in trouble this week. But since I fast forwarded through two of those people, maybe I'm wrong.

Billy Joel is My American Idol

Because of my great love for Billy Joel, I felt like I should try to find time this week to post a list of song picks for American Idol tonight.  But even as much as I love Billy, I kinda hate these kids more. So I never did it.

Steven Tyler says "If you can't sing Billy Joel, you can't sing."  He's right. But I think we're going to find out that these kids can't sing. From what I understand, several of them don't even know who Billy Joel is. How is that even slightly possible? But what am I saying, some of them don't know who the Beatles are.

We have Tommy Hilfiger to tell them how to look and P Diddy to tell them how to sing. And I'm here to tell them what they did wrong. So we're all set.

DeAndre Brackensick - Only The Good Die Young - My husband says, "he looks like Leif Garrett" and I said they don't know who that is either. DeAndre has taken all the advice, his hair is down, he's smiling and bopping around, but I can't help but feel that he has no idea what that song is about. It was weak and his voice didn't quite reach the level it should have. As Randy said, it didn't wow me, but it was OK.

Erika Van Pelt - New York State of Mind - This is an eminently singable song, other than the fact that Billy has a huge range, so he gets low and then high and then low again, but Erika can pull it off if she doesn't over sing. At first, my husband was dreading the new hair, but he eventually had to agree that it looked really cute. I had to agree that the new hair was probably the best part of her performance.  Well, I don't mean that exactly, but I think she could have been better.

Joshua Ledet - She's Got A Way - So I guess it has to be church every single week with Joshua.  I like him, I really do, and I've got nothing against taking it to church.  But I think sometimes you have to show that you can do something that's else. Like DeAndre, it felt like he had no idea what he was singing about. He can sing, though. I mean, he can sang.

Steven Tyler doesn't know She's Got A Way? How is that possible. As soon as he said that, my husband and I turned to each other with a look. You know the look. I'm just guessing that maybe he didn't recognize it being sung that way.

Skylar Laine - Shameless - I had the album, Storm Front, that this song was on, but I didn't recognize it  sung this way.  I had to go find it on youtube so that I could remember what it should sound like. My husband said "I've never heard this before in my life, but she sounds a little flat." I know he has heard it, but just not with a twang.

If I'd know they were going to sing songs that didn't come off the Greatest Hits album, I would have suggested that someone sing Just A Fantasy from Glass Houses. That is seriously one of my favorite Billy Joel songs and every time we heard his heavy breathing, we'd all scream. Of course, we were in our teens, but still.

Elise Testone - Vienna - How could Jimmy Iovine say people won't know this song? Who are these people and who put them in charge of picking music if they aren't familiar with an artist like Billy Joel's entire song book?  This is off The Stranger album. I had that one, too. Cause I loved Billy Joel. Did I mention that? Elise reminds me of Mama Cass this week.  I think it's her flowy look and her smokey sound. While I didn't care for the ending, I thought she did an amazing job overall.  Plus, I was so thrilled to hear that song from the Idol stage. So there, Jimmy Iovine.

Phillip Phillips - Movin' Out - Please no. What fresh hell is he going to wreak on this song? I guess they are trying to make this kid a heart throb. I think they have a long row to hoe with that, cause if there's anyone that wants to be a heart throb less than PhillipSquared, then I have no idea who it is.  My husband liked that way more than I did. I thought it was interesting, but I wasn't in love with it. Also, he messed up one line, but who's really paying attention anyway?

I did think he was an idiot to throw away a scarf that came from Steven Tyler, though. I'd have held on to that for the rest of my life. Or at least until after Idol when it could be sold on Ebay for a tidy sum.

Hollie Cavanagh - Honesty - This is a beautiful song, but Hollie made it boring. Also, she didn't hit all those big notes right on, so she came across as a little sharp here and a little flat there. But she still has a lovely voice.

Heejun Han - My Life - When I heard that slow start, I wondered what he had done to My Life. But I see it was all just another little joke from Heejun. Is it just me or is he getting less and less funny? I thought P Diddy was funnier when he called Heejun a con man and said he wasn't even sure he was Asian.  In any case, the singing was bad and he sang the wrong words at one point, but since he's clearly here trying out for Last Comic Standing, I don't think those things really matter.  

Jessica Sanchez - Everybody Has A Dream - Shouldn't Joshua Ledet have sung this song? I want to like this performance, I really do. She sang it well, but to me it just felt a little too staged. I think I'm just starting to dislike this kid, cause she's got a 'tude and it's getting on my last nerve.

Colton Dixon - Piano Man - I have the feeling that Colton knew who Billy Joel was before this week and it's apparent as he plays and sings. It definitely felt like he was in his element. I just wish he could have made the song more interesting, cause I was just a teensy bit bored.  Oh, and if there's anyone on this show who wants to be a heart throb...

My bottom three would be DeAndre, Skylar and Heejun, and I really think it's time for Heejun to head back to that comedy club in the sky.

Anything Can Happen On American Idol, But Hardly Anything Does

Ryan Seacrest tells us that "when you are doing a live show, anything can happen" and "This is American Idol." My question is if this is the live show starting now, how was he able to go back in time and tape that beginning segment, setting us up for them to kick off Jermaine Jones on live TV tonight?

Oh. This show isn't really live, is it??

The theme tonight is songs from the year they were born, that is 1983 to 1995, all after I graduated from high school. Sigh.

The sound is somehow off on Fox for us today, so voices are moving and the sound is happening at different speeds. This will probably be the most interesting that happens on Idol tonight.

Phillip Phillips - Hard to Handle, The Black Crowes (1990) - He gets the sympathy vote by telling Jimmy Iovine and will.i.am that he needs to go have surgery to remove kidney stones. Or something. I have no sympathy, so I'm not really paying attention. He basically sounded exactly the same as he's sounded on every song we've heard him sing so far. The only difference is that he didn't have his guitar. Also, I think Constantine did this song better in Season 4.

Jessica Sanchez - Turn the Beat Around, Gloria Estefan (1995) - Jessica says she was such a little diva. Really? Cause I never would have guessed. #sarcasm Anyway, this song is actually from 1976 and was sung by Vicki Sue Robinson, but then when did anyone on this show ever care about facts. Little Jessica did not sound too great this week, and not just cause I don't like her, but because it just seemed like she was out of breath and chasing the melody for most of the song. She ended strong and I guess that's all that matters. I like how the judges danced around their criticism so that poor Jessica, stuck in the second spot, won't get voted off this week. For the record, I just checked out the list of the Top 100 songs from 1995 and there were plenty of good songs she could have chosen that would have sounded better. I'll Stand By You, The Prentenders, was on there, as was Kiss From a Rose, Seal. Not necessarily ballads, but still songs she could have shown her vocals on better. Also on the list was Colors of the Wind, from that Disney movie, that little Thia Megia sang last year.

Heejun Han - Right Here Waiting, Richard Marx (198?) - I have no idea what year he was born, but I think this song is from 1988 or '89. I don't care enough to look it up. If his parents said, I didn't look up and catch it in time and since they didn't speak in English, I have no idea if what they really said is what it said on the screen anyway. I like Heejun's voice, it's very smooth and this is probably an OK song for him, except that he seems like he's missing the melody a bit. What I don't like about him is how there are no big moments. I'm not saying he needs a glory note or whatever, just a moment in the song where it doesn't sound like elevator music. My husband liked it.

Elise Testone - Let's Stay Together, Al Green (1983) - Um...Al Green wrote this song in 1972, but I guess they're pretending it was written by Tina Turner. In any case, she sounded much better this week than last week, and I didn't hate her last week. It did not, however, cause me to want to make babies.

DeAndre Brackensick - Endless Love, Lionel Ritchie (1994) - Poor little DeAndre....he was adorable, but how could his mother do that to him? Once again, this song was written and sung in 1981 by Lionel Ritchie and Diana Ross, but I guess Luther and Mariah covered in 1994, so that counts, right? Some of that falsetto was a little off, I felt, and I also think he might have done better on the Elton song he wanted to sing in the first place. It seemed unfair of the judges to say it was the wrong song choice for him when he didn't even make the choice. But I guess that's what Idol is all about.

Shannon Magrane - One Sweet Day, Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men (1995) - I have a hard time remembering that she's actually only 16 years old. She's such a giant it makes me think she's older. Shannon says this was by Mariah Carey and Will Smith, but since she was just born like 10 years ago, we can give her a pass for confusing The Fresh Prince with Boyz II Men. (Of course, she could have been saying Wanya (Morris) and I just thought it was Will Smith.) Of course, while I was trying to make sure I was right about this, I totally missed her singing. I didn't hear anything glaring, so maybe it was OK.

Colton Dixon - Broken Heart, White Lion (1991) - Leave it to Colton to pick a random song by a completely random group that no one remembers. He could have done Shiny Happy People, REM. But whatever. I liked him last week and this week he sounded exactly the same as last week but just on a totally different song, so I like him a little less now. Please, people try to do each song a little differently than the last one so I'm not bored.

Erika Van Pelt - Heaven, Bryan Adams (1985) - I like her better this week, this song seems to fit her low pitched voice much better than whatever it was she sang last week. I've already blocked that out. But again, I have to say, there was no real moment, no crescendo to what she just did. She sorta made it easy listening.

Jermaine Jones - He was going to sing Somewhere Out There. I like that song. But instead, we have a taped segment, apparently from yesterday, where Uncle Nigel sat down with Jermaine and told him that the producers had just discovered that Jermaine had been arrested and charged with four different crimes last year, and he had given fake names. There were still active warrants on him that he didn't disclose and Idol rules don't allow that. Apparently, Jermaine just thought no one would recognize him. Oh, well. Bye, bye, Jermaine.

Skyler Laine - Love Sneakin' Up On You, Bonnie Raitt (1994) - How lucky for her that there was a Bonnie Raitt song the year she was born. They keep telling her she's the second coming of Bonnie Raitt, right? Or some other country person. I thought she was kinda mumbly and rambling, but I guess people like country music. For some reason.

Joshua Ledet - When a Man Loves a Woman, Michael Bolton (1992) - This is a Percy Sledge song from 1966, although Michael Bolton did cover it. In 1991. But we've basically stopped caring about things like that. This didn't sound anything like Bolton's version anyway, no matter what Joshua said. But I loved it! He definitely killed that song and brought us all to church, as they say. It's basically like he's on an entirely different show than the rest of them.

Hollie Cavanagh - The Power of Love, Celine Dion (1993) - This was actually a 1984 song by Jennifer Rush, but when I hear the title Power of Love, immediately I think of Huey Lewis. Um, so wait, Hollie is British? Isn't this American Idol? That's why it sounds like she's got some sort of weird speech impediment, it's an accent! It's surprising to see that huge voice come out of her little person. She almost sounded like she had the same tone as Celine, which I mean in an entirely good way. I do think she faltered slightly on that last note, but she did such a good job all the way through, I don't want to be picky.

Hollie and Joshua were definitely the best tonight. No one else really stood out that much, either good or bad.

I think Heejun, Elise and DeAndre may need to worry a little. But then when has America ever voted the way I think?

Good Guys Finish Sooner Than They'd Like on American Idol

So clearly I was confused (or maybe just really, really hopeful) last night while watching American Idol, cause I somehow got the impression that America would be voting off one guy and one girl and then the judges would be axing a third person based on their own personal opinions. Like say, Jermaine and Shannon would be voted off and then the judges would decide to do away with Colton, too, cause they don't like his hair or something.

But that was all just my wishful thinking that we would somehow go from 13 to 10 in one week, thereby cutting this show down by two eps. It was crazy of me, cause if anything, they would be more likely to somehow draw the thing out even longer, if they only could.

Anyway, so tonight we have to get through an hour long elimination show. Why will they never understand that the elimination show could last about 15 mins? They could just tack it on the beginning of the next week's show. Even then it would have more time then they really need to just boot someone off the stage.  I seriously think more people would watch this show if it didn't take up a million of our life hours every week. Our lives only have so many hours.

I read a bunch of reviews today and I seriously want to know am I the only person who thinks that Jessica was not that great last night?  That song was just a complete, note for note re-boot of Whitney. How many times have they told them not to do that, that they either have to make the song their own, or be better than the original if they want to just copy it?  It seems they clearly want a girl winner this year, even if they did stack the deck with guys, and she's the chosen one. Although it didn't work last year with that nasty little country chick whose name I cannot recall and hope to never hear again.

I wish I could fast forward through tonight, but it's not to be. First up, there's a big group sing and I realize that I cannot understand one word anyone is saying. Also, each and every one of them sounds bad. What was that? Were they all singing from underwater somewhere? How can everyone in the audience like that? Oh, I get it, they are pumping some sort of drug into the air there, aren't they? It keeps everyone in the audience all compliant and excited about nothing and makes them sway in the front like robots. And it makes the judges even more stupid.

The Ford video song is Peter Gabriel's Big Time, which shows someone's good taste in music anyway. Then Jimmy Iovine tells us how hard it is for these kids to sing songs by Whitney and Stevie. Oh, really?

Jessica Sanchez, Elise Testone and Hollie Cavanagh are up for elimination first and after the nationwide vote, Jessica and Hollie are safe and Elise is in the B3 of girls. Wow, what a revelation this show is turning out to be tonight.

Now we have Heejun Han, Jermaine Jones and Colton Dixon.  If only Jermaine was Heejun, why Ryan asked him if he agreed with Jimmy, he would have said, no Ryan, I'm sure Armani does make suits this big. But as we all know, Jermaine is no Heejun.  Anyway, Colton and Heejun are safe and Jermaine is in the guy's B3.

OMG! NO! Lauren Alaina. I had completely blocked out her name and here she is! Why? Idol, why would you do this to me? Wasn't I tortured enough last year? I see she hasn't improved, she's still too full of herself and still utterly lacking in any actual talent. If I can't fast forward, at least I have my friend the mute button. MUTED! Wait, did she just lose her ear piece and then hit herself in the face with the cord? Maybe it was worth seeing her again this year after all.

Back to eliminating. We have Erika Van Pelt, Shannon Magrane and Skylar Laine. Can I just save us all a lot of time and put Shannon in the girls B3 and then send her home?  Although Erika was one of the people who was a judge's pick so maybe America just doesn't like her that much. Ah, so Skylar is safe and Shannon and Erika are joining Elise in the girls B3.

The final four guys, DeAndre Brackensick, Phillip Phillips, Joshua Ledet and Jeremy Rosado, are last to be reviewed and two will be sent to the B3 stools.  I'm guessing Jeremy and DeAndre, cause they were both judge's picks and not voted into this thing by America. Also, Phillip is the WGWG and Joshua is just too good to go home yet. Ooh, there's a twist, Joshua is in the B3 and not DeAndre. That's interesting.

OK, in a fake out move, Ryan just sent Erika and Joshua from the stools of doom back to the couches of safety.  Yay!  So we are going to love either Shannon, Elise, Jeremy or Jermaine.  I'm OK with that.

Can't say I'm a Mary J. Blige fan or that I'd ever really heard anything she did before right now, but that didn't suck.     This is why she makes a good mentor, she has some actual talent. (Plus, she sings with her eyes closed and I once had a choir coach tell us that as soloists we should be looking at the audience while singing, cause you wouldn't talk to someone with your eyes closed, and when you do it while singing it looks silly. Personally, I always think of it as a way of showing a connection to what you're singing. And clearly MJB agrees.)

With only 7 minutes left in this show, we will finally see who is leaving.  Well, first we will see who got the least number of votes for the girls and for the guys and then we will see who the judges are going to send packing.  Please tell me no one has to sing again. Please.

Jermaine is safe, so it definitely looks like Jeremy may be going home, since so far both Jimmy and Steven Tyler said he deserves to go.  Sadly, Shannon is safe and Elise is not.  That's pretty unfair, cause if anyone needs to have gone home it was Shannon. Elise and Jeremy weren't great, but they were better than Shannon.  To be honest, she lost my vote way before singing last night.  I think it was right around the time she started whining about how hard her life is when she's a tall, beautiful, young, thin blond girl who grew up in an upper middle class home with an MVP as a dad. Yes, sweetie, I feel sorry for you.

Ryan says the judges deliberated over the break and then asks Jennifer to let us all know who they decided needs to go home.  She chooses to phrase it thus, "we're going to save Elise."  She could not bring herself to say "we are letting Jeremy go" when she just saved him a week ago.

Ah, well, Jeremy, you were too kind and decent for this show. Plus, you mumbled too much.

American Idol: The Top 13 Proves They Are Not Stevie And Whitney

From Biography.com

I'm fast-forwarding through American Idol tonight, cause I'm not even starting the show until 10 pm and I have to get up early tomorrow.

Tonight it's the 400th episode. This is not something I care about. Anyway, the guys will be singing Stevie Wonder songs and the girls songs from Whitney Houston. You remember Whitney, right? The person whose songs they tell them to never, ever sing. But I guess Idol had to do something to cash in on her recent death.  So Jimmy Iovine sits in with Mary J. Blige to give these kids some actual real constructive advice and criticism.

Joshua Ledet - I Wish - I think he was really good, but I have to be honest. I missed a lot of it, cause my mother had to call me in the middle to continue an earlier disagreement that was between her and my niece. Seriously.  The judges all loved it, but they don't seem to do any actual judging these days, so how can you tell?

Elise Testone - I'm Your Baby, Tonight - Either I don't know this Whitney song or I don't recognize it the way she's singing it, but I don't hate it, so that's a good.  A couple of those notes sound like they aren't quite hitting the way they should, but she seems to have the right feel for it, if not the exact right pitch and timing.

Jermaine Jones - Knocks Me Off My Feet - I'm not sure I know this song either, which is weird, since Stevie and Whitney are right in my musical time zone.  I don't really care for Jermaine's voice that much. I mean, it's OK and everything, but I just feel like he's going to be doing the same thing over and over and over again. But then Ruben Studdard did that he won, so what do I know?

Erika Van Pelt - I Believe In You And Me - It started out too low for me; her voice sounded like a man.  But she brought it up where it needed to be and it really kicked in. I thought that was good, but not amazing.

Colton Dixon - Lately - I was not a fan of Colton coming into this thing tonight, but that was really good. I knew the song, but he did such a great job of making it his own, it could be his first single.  He might go further than I thought he would.

Shannon Magrane - I Have Nothing - This song is just way too big for anyone who isn't Whitney Houston. It's swallowing this little girl whole. (Even if she is 6 feet tall.) I won't even mention the flat notes and terrible timing. She should go home after that, but since the night is only half over, maybe some other girl will be worse.

DeAndre Brackensick - Master Blaster - The 70's seem to be this kids wheelhouse, what with his falsetto and all, but I'm not sure about this song. He definitely slurred his words a lot. I know the words to this song and I still had a hard time following him. It was OK, but he was already voted off once and he may just have be voted off again after that. Maybe it's just me, cause I really liked him last week way better and he was off, so maybe everyone else will like this week better.

Skyler Laine - Where Do Broken Hearts Go - Skyler says no one can compare to Whitney Houston, which is true, but she says that right after she mentions that she didn't really grow up listening to Whitney, so what does she know about it, exactly? The fact that she plans to turn this into a country ballad makes me want to vomit. Seriously, just lose the twang for one song, OK? In any case, she did really nail all the notes and was completely in tune, which is actually a huge plus on this show. But I still hated it.

Heejun Han - All In Love Is Fair - OK, I'm over this kid being a comedian. Can he just shut up and sing now? Anyway, talk about slurring your words, he's the chief offender of just dropping off the ends of words. Look, his voice is smooth and pleasant, but he's doesn't have that much of a range.  He didn't quite hit that high note near the end, but otherwise it was perfect for the easy listening station they play in your doctor's office.

Hollie Cavanagh - All The Man That I Need - Her voice is somehow bigger than she is, but still maybe not quite up to Whitney. But then no one is, really, so I'd have to say she was competent. She hit all the notes and kept to the melody, but she didn't bring any personality to it, that I could see.

Jeremy Rosado - Ribbon In The Sky - He wins the slurred words award. I barely understood one word of that. I like this kid, but if that's his best, he's probably leaving us sooner rather than later. The thing is, he's been way better than that song showed, but he may not get another chance to prove it.

Jessica Sanchez - I Will Always Love You - No one should ever sing this song, ever again. Actually, if Skylar and chosen to do the original Dolly Parton version, it may have been a better idea. I think her biggest mistake is trying to sing it just like Whitney, which is exactly what she's doing. I have news for you, Jessica, even if you win this thing, you will never, ever be Whitney. I completely disagree with the standing ovation judges, cause that was the definition of karaoke.

Phillip Phillips - Superstition - I see that PhillipSquared (as they are calling him on VFTW) is in the pimp spot tonight. But I don't think that's really necessary as he's this year's WGWG (white guy with guitar) and he will definitely go far, whether or not you like him.  My husband just said, "That's a great tune, that's fresh, isn't it? I'd like to hear this on the radio." So he absolutely just made my point about Jessica, that is he took the song and did something with it. So even though he's not my favorite, although I don't seem to have an actual favorite yet, just people I hate less than I hate other people, he was one of the best of the night.

If I'm sending three people home tonight, it would be Shannon, Jeremy and Jermaine. But I'd bet Elise is going before one of those guys, cause she's in the second place death spot and they gave her bad reviews.

American Idol's Top 13

I was at work meetings for the past couple of days, so I didn't have a chance to see Idol live last night. Actually we just got back to the hotel after a work dinner at about 9:55 pm, so I turned on the TV to see the last few minutes and I did see the Top 13. Except it went by fast and since I'm still not sure who all these kids are, I decided to watch it on my DVR anyway.

I will be fast forwarding through a lot. A lot. So don't expect this to be any type of actual recap. Probably.

Ryan explains how this is all going to work, but I'm still unclear cause I'm not really paying attention.  All I know is that when this is all over, we will have 13 people moving forward.

First up is Chase Likens, Phil Phillips and Jeremy Rosado.  I'm fast forwarding through the recapping and Jimmy Iovine's comments, since at this point, it's too late to care what he says anyway. The votes are, as they say, in. Then there is more random chatter by the "judges" which is also unnecessary, but just used as a way to fill in this two-hour time slot.

So...Phil is in the Top 10, Chase and Jeremy are not.  Phil looks a little like he ate something bad and is about to lose it.

Then we have Jessica Sanchez, Hollie Cavanagh, Brielle Von Hugel and Hallie Day.  Hollie and Jessica are in, the others are out. And I can only hope neither one comes back as a wild card.

Joshua Ledet, Heejun Han, Adam Brock. I have a sad, sad feeling that Heejun is going through no matter what anyone says. Not that he wasn't good, but I'd say there were better people that are probably not going through so that he can get a spot. So Joshua is safe, as it should be, Heejun is safe, which could be either good or bad, and Adam is out.

Baylie Brown, Chelsea Sorrell, Skylar Laine and Shannon Magrane. It's been pretty clear that Skylar is the country chick that they want in this competition, so I'd say she's in it. Yes, she is, and also Shannon.  Goodbye to the the others. Except of course for those pesky wild card spots.  But I doubt they want more than one country person in this competition.

Aaron Marcellus, Creighton Fraker, Reed Grimm.  Since I liked Creighton, chances are he's out.  And since we already have Joshua and Jermaine, I don't think we need Aaron. Reed could go either way, but honestly, I don't think any one of these guys was too great. Maybe one of them for a wild card?

Elise Testone, Erika Van Pelt, Haley Johnsen and Jen Hirsch.  This one is harder, cause they've mostly all been pimped a lot and only Haley really sucked. But since only one of them is going through, I'd say maybe Erika and then Elise or Jen for wild card?  Well, it's Elise, so maybe Erika or Jen for a wild card.

Eben Franckewitz, Colton Dixon, Jermaine Jones and DeAndre Brackensick. Again, all of these guys have been pimped to death.  But two are definitely going through and I would say one of those two should be Eben, since they put him in when they should have told him to come back in a couple of years and also, maybe Colton since this is his second rodeo. But then they brought Jermaine back, which makes me think he's the one.  I guess one of them could be a wild card. The final Top 10 stools are taken by Colton and Jermaine.  This makes me think one of the judges may take Eben as a wild card.

So the six people the judges have come back and sing again are Jen, Jeremy, Brielle, DeAndre, Erika and Reed. I guess we will have to wait to see again Eben next year on The Voice.  I'm not gonna comment on what they are singing or how they do, since I fast forwarded through that entire part.  I only had about 10 mins to get through 40 more mins of show and some things don't matter that much. I don't even care who they pick at this point, except I hope it's not Brielle, cause I can't stand her. It's weird how you just don't like people you've never met just cause they are annoying on national TV.

Randy picks Erika, Jennifer picks Jeremy and Steven picks DeAndre.

So there you have it.  The Top 13 on Season 11 of American Idol.

Enjoy. Or don't really, cause I honestly don't care either way.

A Guy Is Definitely Winning American Idol this Year

I'm not watching American Idol on delay tonight, although I wish I was. I like to fast forward through lots of this stuff.  Last night I started 40 mins late and caught up before the end. But tonight I'll have to watch the entire thing live, whether I want to or not.

Chelsea Sorrell - Cowboy Casanova, Carrie Underwood - It always makes me smile a little when I think that to these kids, someone who won this contest previously is considered a big star.  Since we are starting out with a country person, I'd like to hit mute right away cause just her speaking voice is getting on my nerves, but my husband doesn't agree.  I think that was terrible, but my husband said it wasn't that bad.  I think he needs to get his ears checked. Tonight, I'm not even going to bother listening to what the judges have to say, since it's rarely helpful or even relevant.

Erika Van Pelt - What About Love, Heart - She was just OK. There were no big moments in a song that lends itself to creating that sort of glory note thing, and her voice is a little vibrato-y for my taste.  She was like the wedding singer or something.

Jennifer Hirsh - One and Only, Adele  - Her family has a vineyard. Can't she afford to buy her own record contract then? So, Adele doesn't have that many hits, right? I mean they can't just all keep singing her stuff every week, can they? She didn't sound bad and was a bit more interesting that the last two, but that's not saying much.

Brielle Von Hugel - Sitting on the Dock of the Bay, Otis Redding - If I didn't hate this chick already for having an overbearing stage mother, I would for this get-to-know-her video clip. Also, she was a cheerleader. Add to that her annoying phrasing and how she says her words, and I'd be happy if I never, ever had to see or hear from her ever again.  Which probably means she's gonna last for a long time.

Hallie Day - Feeling Good, Any Number of People - She's just a little too pretty for her husband, right? I mean we're all thinking it.  Anyway, I hear the Adam Lambert version of this song almost daily on my play list. She just does not compare.  Her voice is weak and her moves are weird. But she's pretty so that will probably save her for a couple of weeks.

Skylar Laine - Stay With Me, Faces -  Does it make me a bad person that I just can't stand this chick's broad southern accent? My husband just said he can barely understand anything she's saying. Once again this is a case of someone picking a song they like, but that really doesn't do their vocal ability any favors. The high note at the end was not really in tune with the song and just sounded wrongly placed. My husband, who likes country music, said "that was nasty, there was nothing good about that."

Baylie Brown - Amazed, Lonestar - I'm about to hear another country singer, aren't I? Why does God hate me so much? That was just like bad karaoke, screechy and pitchy and weak.  The only thing I like about her is her grandfather. But, you know, pretty girls last a while on AI.

Hollie Cavanagh - Reflection, Christina Aguilera - She almost sounds like she might have a speech impediment. Or maybe she's just very young and sorta mumbles like a typical teenager. I'd say her choice of song from Mulan makes her young. Well, that wasn't perfect, but it was probably better than most of what we heard tonight.  She needs some more polish I think, but she was on key, which is half the battle here. She doesn't match up to Christina, but then few really do.

Haley Johnsen - Sweet Dreams, Eurythmics - I missed her get-to-know-me video cause my husband said he just bought ice cream suckers and wanted to know why they weren't in the freezer, cause I put them away and I said I never saw them, so then he wanted me to find the receipt to prove if he really bought them or just thought he did and well, I just got back in time for her to start singing.  Anyway, he was still talking about it while I was trying to listen to her, but either way, I'm pretty sure I would have hated her.

Is it weird for anyone else that the judges loved all over the "beautiful" boys yesterday and are being brutally honest with the less than perfect girls tonight? It's like they just want this year's winner to be another guy.

Shannon Magrane - Go Light Your World, Chris Rice - So I went back and found the receipt for him and my husband did not buy any ice cream suckers. So there. Anyway, Shannon says her dad was a pitcher a long time ago. You know, all the way back in the dark ages of the late 80's through the mid-90s.  My husband said "Shannon Migraine," "why are all the girls so shaky?" and "is this a church song?" I have no answers for him.

Also, why do these children keep talking about what's in their soul? They have no soul yet. I'm sure of it.

Jessica Sanchez - Love You I Do, Jennifer Hudson - They want us to feel sorry for Jessica cause she has swollen vocal cords and couldn't rehearse as much as she would have liked before tonight. Somehow, I seriously doubt that. No one gets this far and doesn't rehearse the heck out of their song before this first time before America, one shot, sudden death kind of thing. No one. Anyway, she started out really mumbly, although she did pull off some big notes and growls that probably saved her, although honestly I only understood about one word out of every ten. My husband said she was probably the first real singer up there tonight.

Elise Testone - One and Only, Adele - Seriously, more freaking Adele? No wait, this isn't more Adele, it's THE SAME Adele. Why? I think she did a better job than the other chick who sang THIS SAME SONG tonight, but since I've pretty much forgotten who the other chick was at this point, I'd say the point is moot.

Well, if this is the best America has to offer in way of female contestants, then a guy is definitely winning again this year.  The best two were Hollie Cavanagh and Jessica Sanchez. And they weren't that great.

American Bleeeeeep

So it's really back.

The live shows on American Idol. My husband has already pointed out that the new stage set looks cheesy. Like this show was ever the utmost in decorum and taste.  It sounds like they are keeping this stage throughout, instead of just using it until we hit the Top 12. Interesting. Or, you know, not so much, really.

This week they can pick any song they want. Really, Ryan? Really, any song they want? I'm sorry if I just have a problem believing that.

As we start out and I get a look at the Top 24, I seriously wish I could remember even one of their names and I just can't.  Sadly, by the time this season ends, I will know them all too well.

Reed Grimm - Moves Like Jagger, Maroon 5 - Says his life will change and he won't be changing dirty diapers every day. Yes that will be a change, but I kinda thought you'd be looking for something a little more than that. He is suitably bleeped out during the songs one swear word, which could really have been changed easily.  I mean if Cee Lo can Forget You....you know?  Anyway, I have no opinion at this point.  He didn't impress me.  Randy (and can someone please tell me what's the deal with his collar??) says he is like Casey Abrams. He is not. Jennifer says everyone knows the song so well. Neither one of us has ever heard this song before.  Steven also swears and is bleeped out. Well, mostly.

Adam Brock - Think, Aretha Franklin - When a man describes himself as White Chocolate...well, I just have no words.  In my opinion, that song is too big for him, at least it's bigger than he thinks he is.  But then Aretha is bigger than most people.  He didn't suck, but I didn't think he was amazing either. Steven said he was brilliant and managed to do it without swearing. Jennifer said he delivered at the end. Randy says he has a 70's vibe.

DeAndre Brackensick - Reasons, Earth Wind and Fire - That falsetto is gonna get old really quick. Maybe even by tonight. Possibly before this song ends. OK, talk about a 70's vibe, now I'm really feeling it.  Is it just me or does everyone else like this show way better than me? Steven didn't swear again. Jennifer says his voice is perfect and she prayed he'd come back this year. (Like she really remembers who any of these kids are between seasons.) Randy said something...I have no idea what.

I'm watching the show about 40 minutes behind and I noticed that Colton Dixon is trending on Twitter when I'm just getting to him. So either he was amazing or really bad, cause he's the only AI thing trending when it's probably at least half an hour after he sang.

Colton Dixon - Decode, Paramore - I think that's right cause I missed Ryan announcing it and had to look it up, but I'm not sure which is the song name and which is the band. Once again, I was not impressed.  I want to be impressed with someone, please.  Randy says the show has so many flavors. Jennifer says we really feel him and he's a relevant artist. Steven doesn't swear.

Jeremy Rosado - Gravity, Sarah Bareilles - Never heard of her, originally got her name down as Sarah Umbrella and went back to look it up. Jeremy strikes me as a really nice guy, so I don't see him lasting too long on this show or in the music business. But maybe it's an act and he's going all the way to the top. On the other hand, he could be this year's Scott Savol, he'll be good, but people will hate him cause he's so harmless. So far he's the first one that I actually liked.  Even with that little crack in his voice, it sounded real and he wasn't overwhelmed by the music. Steven says it was beautiful and for once, he's right. Jennifer says some people are just blessed by God. Randy said something, but I didn't catch it again. For some reason whenever Randy talks all I hear is that wahwahwah sound, like adults in Charlie Brown.

Aaron Marcellus - Never Can Say Goodbye, Jackson 5 - He says he's a regular dude who has a big dream. Me too Aaron, me, too. My dream is that at some point someone singing on the Idol stage this year will be really amazing and I'll remember why I watch this show year after year. Aside from the slightly off, weak ending, the rest sounded too...processed to me. Like he was singing to me through a filter that takes out all the personality, which is sort of the deal so far tonight. The judges gushed, but said nothing of note.

Chase Likens - Storm Warning, Hunter Hayes - I basically tune out for the country stuff.  As I may have mentioned, at least a few million times, I hate country music.  HATE IT. So I just choose to abstain from commenting. Otherwise, he seems like a nice guy. Even the judges don't seem as happy about this song as the last few, but since Chase is clearly fodder with no chance of making the Top 12, it really doesn't matter.

Creighton Fraker - True Colors, Cyndi Lauper - I kinda like him, but he's so weird that I don't think it can last. Seriously, if anyone has a woman inside him, it's this guy. His voice is so high and fine and yet solid. I really do like him.  My husband has been muttering stuff in the background about rainbows, but I'm ignoring him.  I can totally see him singing with a Muppet someday. (Creighton, not  my husband.) At this point, I'm basically ignoring what the judges are saying, cause it's all pointless. Although my husband mentioned that the judges sort of rushed through their time with Creighton, like they were basically saying goodbye.

Phil Philips - In The Air Tonight, Phil Collins - He's so totally making this song his own, I don't really recognize it. He's basically re-written the melody, at least on the verse. I want to like this, but I'm not sure.  My husband said I like him, but that was a little weird; he did say he liked it better than True Colors.  I disagree.  The judges seem to like it better, except for Randy who also recognized that he's re-writing melody. Which is weird, cause Randy rarely knows what's happening.

Eben Franckewitz - Set Fire To the Rain, Adele - More and more I don't know the songs that are sung on this show and this is one I don't know. So I can't be sure, but it doesn't sound right. He seems flat and nasally and kinda scared to death. But the producers clearly like him, cause he has the flamey background. My husband just said, he's going down in flames, for sure.  He's the first one the judges really had any criticism for, except that they sugar coated it by telling him how amazing he is. He's not that amazing.

Heejun Han - Angels, Robbie Williams - Of course, he's crazy and clearly his mother is as well. So you gotta like that. He's not melting my heart or anything like that, but he wasn't bad. I'd call him easy listening, which his probably not what he's going after, but at least it was all on pitch.

OK, that one short, re-written line from Hey Jude by Steven Tyler was better than everyone else that sang tonight so far.

Joshua Ledet - You Pulled Me Through, Jennifer Hudson - He has barely opened his mouth and already I can say, this is what I'm talking about. He sounds like Luther Vandross and he's so much better than all the other Idol wannabes who sang tonight that they should just call him the winner now and move on.  Think of how much time we'd all save. No, seriously, someone call that kid and give him a contract. Stat.

And now for the surprise semi-finalist save. It's gonna be Jermaine Jones. And it's Jermaine Jones. Color me not even a little surprised.

Jermaine Jones - Dance With My Father, Luther Vandross - I get why they keep calling this guy the gentle giant, cause he makes Ryan look like a little, tiny, tiny man. Not that Ryan is all that big, but now he looks like one of those toy, smaller than a Barbie doll, dolls.  Tiny.  Oh, right, and he sang. I have no love for this song and I don't think he added much to it, but then he just had to sing after Joshua Ledet, so anyone would suffer by comparison.

Overall, it was an underwhelming first ep of live shows. As I recall last year was just as underwhelming and look how that turned out.  (The country guy won, so that just goes to show you.)

If I can only keep five, which is I guess how this works, it will be Adam Brock, Jeremy Rosado, Creighton Fraker, Heejun Hun and Joshua Ledet.

I guess.

Idol Time Is Here Again

From AmericanIdol.com

Well, it's that time again. American Idol is back.

Every year I say I'm not going to watch. I say I don't want to see it and I don't care. But then I cave and find myself watching the first ep. It's definitely an illness.

I don't really pay too much attention to the early people because they come and go so quickly. Plus, I get attached and then its painful when they are cut. There were a couple of people who stood out, but I refuse to acknowledge them until we at least get to Hollywood week.

Although, I did notice and remember the chick who lives in a tent in the woods with her boyfriend, cause they were talking about her inspiring story and my husband said: "What is inspiring about living in a tent? That just makes you a loser."  She seemed pretty laid back, but then I guess you have to be to live in a tent. My idea of camping is leaving the windows open at the Ritz Carlton. There is absolutely no way on earth I could live in a tent.  Or even sleep outside for one night.

Anyway, back to Idol. There did seem to be less making fun of people who suck, which is probably a good thing, cause that was getting old.

Besides, I'll be here to make fun of people without their help.

The Winner of American Idol Season 10 is....

So what started as a season full of promise this year on American Idol came down to a penultimate boring country teen-fest last night. I wasn't surprised. I could see this coming from a long way back. I felt the manipulating hand of Uncle Nigel, gleefully creating the scenario he wanted, pushing the pieces into place. It felt inevitable, yet somehow I still retained my belief in free will. It turns out, Nigel won. I'm just not sure why he wanted what was definitely going to alienate people. Like those who aren't interested in watching two bland teenagers sing random country karaoke for an hour. I'd imagine there are plenty of people like that. Of course, if they are anything like me, they figured, I've come this far, I should stick it out to the boring country end.

I'm not saying this season was all bad. Some good came of it. For one thing, I bought my husband a melodica for his birthday and if he doesn't learn to play it, I might. But the part of this season I'm going to miss the most, the part that leaves a gaping hole, is...well, actually, it's two parts: Paul F. Tompkin's (@PFTompkins) Idol reviews in NY Mag and Michael Slezak's (@MichaelSlezakTV) Buffy-tinged Idoloonies at TVLine. They made Idol so much fun for me this year and I salute them. Thanks for a great year, guys! I suspect that their reviews would not have been as much fun without watching the show, so that almost makes all the time I spent on this thing worth it. Although, next year, I'm tempted to test that theory.

Tonight we embark upon the F-list-Star Studded Finale. Although one assumes that Steven Tyler (who I read is performing tonight) will be singing with James Durbin (since they sorta had an agreement), I think it's interesting that the only spoiler I've read more than one place is about Casey Abrams singing with Jack Black. It's like even after about a thousand weeks of this show and an ending engineered by the powers that be, the only person anyone cares about this year is Casey.  I know I feel that way.

So I'm watching the group number, with the sound muted of course, and I just realized that every single one of these kids makes crazy faces into the camera. Seriously. Re-wind that and you'll see it, too.

James Durbin is first up to sing and, interestingly, he's singing a medley with Judas Priest. So I guess that deal he and Steven made had an escape clause. I'm still not a James fan, but I miss him only cause he would have made for a more interesting country-lite finale.

Instead of more singing, right now we take time to make fun of the people behind the desk, starting with Randy "In It To Win It" Jackson. I used to like Randy.

Next we have Jacob Lusk with Kirk Franklin. This is also interesting, cause I never expected it. Good on Jacob for sticking with what he knows and where he's going to shine. He definitely needs to engender some goodwill with America. And, oh, look at this, Gladys Knight. What the heck does she need to sell?

Did you just see?? My babies were on during the American Idol finale!

Now, it's time for Casey Abrams and Jack Black singing Queen's Fat Bottom Girls. That was fun. I'm just glad no one is going to pretend to judge anything this week.

On to the all girl group number medley. All I really notice is that Karen Rodriguez doesn't even try to sing any of the words in Spanish. Weird, cause I thought she was somehow under contract to do that in every single song she sings. Ever. After about an hour, the girls are joined by Beyonce, but by this point, I've left the room and I'm busy doing something else.

We move on to making fun of Steven Tyler. Yes, he swears on camera. We know.

Yay! Haley Reinhart is paired with Tony Bennett. I love her now. I'm not sure how it happened, but suddenly, she's good. I think it was cause of all the beatings she took.

Apparently, making fun of Jennifer Lopez isn't possible. All they can do is talk about how beautiful she is.

I have no idea what I'm seeing here now. Some sort of synchronized dancing from bondage people. Oh, wait, is that the Idols?  What is going on? Sometimes I think I need to pay more attention to this show and sometimes I'm glad I'm not. This is both of those times.

Getting back to the country music that all love so much, Scotty McCreery and Tim McGraw sing a lovely country song about death.

Just for fun, we get to re-visit all the stupidity and silliness from the early auditions. Actually, there's not that much.

Mark Anthony sings and Jennifer Lopez dances. Clearly, they plan to drag this thing out as long as possible with all sorts of unnecessary filler.

The boys' group sing. Honestly, I have nothing to say about any of this. I just want it to be over. Tom Jones joins them.  He looks older, but he sounds exactly the same. OK, maybe not exactly, but pretty close. Sometimes bringing these old guys on to this big stage tends to just show off how badly they've aged. He was not as bad as some we've seen. And you know it.

A shot of Ryan Seacrest in the audience, with security guard Aaron behind him, nodding his head in agreement to whatever Ryan is telling us. This is followed by some sort of Ford commercial where the Top Two talk about going home to invite a teacher back to the finale and then present them each with keys to a new Ford Focus.  Scotty and Lauren are told they get to pick any Ford vehicle they want. Apparently, Ford doesn't have any new hybrid to push this year.

Lady Gaga. That is all.

There's only about 38 minutes left of this show, which for some odd reason is on until 10:07 pm. Um, you couldn't have just gone to 10:05 or 10:10? Or added one more stupid nothing song and ended at 10:15? I don't like odd numbers. They're too uneven.

In any case, I was just hoping this thing was almost over. But no, we still have to live through Little Lauren Alaina singing with Carrie Underwood. It always amazes me when these kids think of someone from American Idol as an influence on their lives. Seriously, Carrie Underwood has only been around for a couple of years. But I guess when you're only 12, that's like forever.

More Beyonce, cause clearly once wasn't enough.

Bono and The Edge do some boring, silly Spider-Man musical thing with a guy I don't know. Didn't Bono used to stand for something? Besides commercialism? Don't even get me started on what I think about people who refer to themselves as "the" anything. Pretentious twits.

Please make this show end!!!  There's still 16 more minutes and it feels like an eternity.

Hey, here's something I actually like. Steven Tyler singing Dream On. I feel a little bad that Joe Perry and the boys dissed him by refusing to be on Idol. But he doesn't really need them for this anyway. That was cool, a live Steven Tyler concert. Just for me. That almost made living through these past two hours of hell worth it. Almost.

Only 10 minutes now. Ryan promised he wouldn't let my DVR cut off in mid-winner proclamation, so he'd better hurry this thing up.  We need to announce the winner and have them sing their own Do I Make You Proud That This is My Now Inside Your Heaven at The Time of My Life with No Boundaries.

And, now, finally, the winner is .... Scotty McCreery!

I never doubted it for a minute.