People Underestimate the Value of a Good Ramble

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Anything Can Happen On American Idol, But Hardly Anything Does

Ryan Seacrest tells us that "when you are doing a live show, anything can happen" and "This is American Idol." My question is if this is the live show starting now, how was he able to go back in time and tape that beginning segment, setting us up for them to kick off Jermaine Jones on live TV tonight?

Oh. This show isn't really live, is it??

The theme tonight is songs from the year they were born, that is 1983 to 1995, all after I graduated from high school. Sigh.

The sound is somehow off on Fox for us today, so voices are moving and the sound is happening at different speeds. This will probably be the most interesting that happens on Idol tonight.

Phillip Phillips - Hard to Handle, The Black Crowes (1990) - He gets the sympathy vote by telling Jimmy Iovine and that he needs to go have surgery to remove kidney stones. Or something. I have no sympathy, so I'm not really paying attention. He basically sounded exactly the same as he's sounded on every song we've heard him sing so far. The only difference is that he didn't have his guitar. Also, I think Constantine did this song better in Season 4.

Jessica Sanchez - Turn the Beat Around, Gloria Estefan (1995) - Jessica says she was such a little diva. Really? Cause I never would have guessed. #sarcasm Anyway, this song is actually from 1976 and was sung by Vicki Sue Robinson, but then when did anyone on this show ever care about facts. Little Jessica did not sound too great this week, and not just cause I don't like her, but because it just seemed like she was out of breath and chasing the melody for most of the song. She ended strong and I guess that's all that matters. I like how the judges danced around their criticism so that poor Jessica, stuck in the second spot, won't get voted off this week. For the record, I just checked out the list of the Top 100 songs from 1995 and there were plenty of good songs she could have chosen that would have sounded better. I'll Stand By You, The Prentenders, was on there, as was Kiss From a Rose, Seal. Not necessarily ballads, but still songs she could have shown her vocals on better. Also on the list was Colors of the Wind, from that Disney movie, that little Thia Megia sang last year.

Heejun Han - Right Here Waiting, Richard Marx (198?) - I have no idea what year he was born, but I think this song is from 1988 or '89. I don't care enough to look it up. If his parents said, I didn't look up and catch it in time and since they didn't speak in English, I have no idea if what they really said is what it said on the screen anyway. I like Heejun's voice, it's very smooth and this is probably an OK song for him, except that he seems like he's missing the melody a bit. What I don't like about him is how there are no big moments. I'm not saying he needs a glory note or whatever, just a moment in the song where it doesn't sound like elevator music. My husband liked it.

Elise Testone - Let's Stay Together, Al Green (1983) - Um...Al Green wrote this song in 1972, but I guess they're pretending it was written by Tina Turner. In any case, she sounded much better this week than last week, and I didn't hate her last week. It did not, however, cause me to want to make babies.

DeAndre Brackensick - Endless Love, Lionel Ritchie (1994) - Poor little DeAndre....he was adorable, but how could his mother do that to him? Once again, this song was written and sung in 1981 by Lionel Ritchie and Diana Ross, but I guess Luther and Mariah covered in 1994, so that counts, right? Some of that falsetto was a little off, I felt, and I also think he might have done better on the Elton song he wanted to sing in the first place. It seemed unfair of the judges to say it was the wrong song choice for him when he didn't even make the choice. But I guess that's what Idol is all about.

Shannon Magrane - One Sweet Day, Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men (1995) - I have a hard time remembering that she's actually only 16 years old. She's such a giant it makes me think she's older. Shannon says this was by Mariah Carey and Will Smith, but since she was just born like 10 years ago, we can give her a pass for confusing The Fresh Prince with Boyz II Men. (Of course, she could have been saying Wanya (Morris) and I just thought it was Will Smith.) Of course, while I was trying to make sure I was right about this, I totally missed her singing. I didn't hear anything glaring, so maybe it was OK.

Colton Dixon - Broken Heart, White Lion (1991) - Leave it to Colton to pick a random song by a completely random group that no one remembers. He could have done Shiny Happy People, REM. But whatever. I liked him last week and this week he sounded exactly the same as last week but just on a totally different song, so I like him a little less now. Please, people try to do each song a little differently than the last one so I'm not bored.

Erika Van Pelt - Heaven, Bryan Adams (1985) - I like her better this week, this song seems to fit her low pitched voice much better than whatever it was she sang last week. I've already blocked that out. But again, I have to say, there was no real moment, no crescendo to what she just did. She sorta made it easy listening.

Jermaine Jones - He was going to sing Somewhere Out There. I like that song. But instead, we have a taped segment, apparently from yesterday, where Uncle Nigel sat down with Jermaine and told him that the producers had just discovered that Jermaine had been arrested and charged with four different crimes last year, and he had given fake names. There were still active warrants on him that he didn't disclose and Idol rules don't allow that. Apparently, Jermaine just thought no one would recognize him. Oh, well. Bye, bye, Jermaine.

Skyler Laine - Love Sneakin' Up On You, Bonnie Raitt (1994) - How lucky for her that there was a Bonnie Raitt song the year she was born. They keep telling her she's the second coming of Bonnie Raitt, right? Or some other country person. I thought she was kinda mumbly and rambling, but I guess people like country music. For some reason.

Joshua Ledet - When a Man Loves a Woman, Michael Bolton (1992) - This is a Percy Sledge song from 1966, although Michael Bolton did cover it. In 1991. But we've basically stopped caring about things like that. This didn't sound anything like Bolton's version anyway, no matter what Joshua said. But I loved it! He definitely killed that song and brought us all to church, as they say. It's basically like he's on an entirely different show than the rest of them.

Hollie Cavanagh - The Power of Love, Celine Dion (1993) - This was actually a 1984 song by Jennifer Rush, but when I hear the title Power of Love, immediately I think of Huey Lewis. Um, so wait, Hollie is British? Isn't this American Idol? That's why it sounds like she's got some sort of weird speech impediment, it's an accent! It's surprising to see that huge voice come out of her little person. She almost sounded like she had the same tone as Celine, which I mean in an entirely good way. I do think she faltered slightly on that last note, but she did such a good job all the way through, I don't want to be picky.

Hollie and Joshua were definitely the best tonight. No one else really stood out that much, either good or bad.

I think Heejun, Elise and DeAndre may need to worry a little. But then when has America ever voted the way I think?


sharon said...

Constantine rocked out "Hard to Handle" on American Idol Season 4 and he definitely connected with the audience! They were up on their feeting clapping along. Much energy!! I agree Constantine sang this song much better than Phillip Phillips last night. No comparison!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the Constantine video. I hadn't thought about him much the last few years and then I read where he's got the lead in a Broadway play. Good for him. Haven't watched Idol much lately, just peeked in last nite. Not too exciting.

Toni said...

Sharon, I totally agree. I know others have sung Hard to Handle since Constantine, but I really remember his version, because it was so high energy and fun.

Glad I could bring that video back for everyone to see and remember.

Anonymous said...

Constantine could "sex" up anything he did. PhillipSquared just looked like he needed to use the little boy's room.

Toni said...

True, Constantine does know how to bring on the sexy. I think P2 will have to go a ways to catch up with that.