People Underestimate the Value of a Good Ramble

Friday, May 13, 2011

Idol Score: Country=2; Ladies=2; Metal=0

Due to the sad, sad break down of Blogger for the past million hours, this Idol review is being posted a day later than it would have been. If the time frames don't exactly make sense, that's why.

I just can't take it anymore. American Idol is starting to break me.

Look, I know I'm not one to normally give a pass to anyone who talks back to the judges (or as I'll be calling them from now on, the people behind the desk). It never works out well when someone is rude. But honestly, after that beat down Wednesday night, I can't blame Haley for pushing back.

Now, watching all this hoopla and craziness, hearing about all the guest performers and everything that’s going to happen in the next very long hour, it makes me long for the simpler days of seasons 1 and 2. You know, when no one actually watched this show.

Anyway, after we have to re-live all that stuff that made me so angry last night, we start with a terrible countrified song with Scotty McCreery and James Durbin. Weirdly, James almost sounds better singing with a twang. OK, who is that chick who keeps kissing James on the cheek and does his wife know about her?

Next we have Haley Reinhart and Lauren Alaina with their own countrified ladies duet. What’s with all the country music? Why does American Idol hate me so much?

Finally, we are about to get to the elimination. The first person into the Top 3 is Lauren. I guess they were afraid that if she didn’t make it immediately, she’s be crying again through the entire show, like last week.

Because I’m watching live, I can’t fast-forward through the Lady GagMe performance of the same song that Haley sang last week. But I can mute it.

My friend Sandy is a huge Enrique Inglesias fan, or I’d be muting him, too. I’m just so not a fan of this kind of mess. No wonder American Idol ends up with the winners they end up with every year. People have absolutely crap taste in music. It’s random yelling and auto-tune and dance beat. I want to vomit all over the the swaybots jumping by the stage. Plus they stole part of a Lionel Ritchie song. Is anyone paying royalties on that?

I’m going to completely ignore where Ryan jumped off the stage after a balloon and the Ford commercial.

I was never much of a Jordin Sparks fan either, but I did think it might be interesting to hear her new song. I was wrong. That whole thing was so pointless and the lyrics sound like they were written by a first grader.

As for Steven Tyler’s single, well, the video wasn’t what I thought of for the song, but what do I know about videos anyway.  As for the song, it’s a little poppy for me, but it’s catchy. I just think it might be missing something. Like Joe Perry. For instance.

But it’ll most likely be a hit. Maybe it already is.

Back to eliminating people.....or putting them in the Top 3. The next person in the Top 3 is Haley. See, all that hate last night backfired on them.

So maybe it is James going home. That will still give us the Scotty/Lauren finale that’s been anticipated since day one.

And I’ll be so happy to not have to hear any more James screaming. Or watch him cry. But if it’s Scotty going home, I’m still OK with that.  Actually, can we just send them both home now and just skip next week’s show entirely?

As anticipated, Scotty goes on to the Top 3 and James is done. I figured he’d be out by next week anyway, so I’m not too surprised. Especially since Ryan said tonight would be interesting. I guess America, along with not being able to look at themselves in the mirror, is also not ready to give metal a chance.

Well, after the tour, James can go on to front some local heavy metal band and play lots of gigs in his home state.

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