People Underestimate the Value of a Good Ramble

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Is Wanting Someone To Lose The Same As Caring Who Wins?

Please tell me that someone will at least stop these country cousins from singing all country music for the finale of American Idol. Please.

The only positive I can find is that tonight is only an hour and not two hours. Maybe God does love me.

So we start out the show with clips that prove all the people on American Idol were also annoyingly precocious children. Laura, watching the clip of 8 year old Scotty McCreery talking about AI, said, when I was 8, there was no AI. Well, when I was 8, there was no color TV.  So there.

Why do we have to bring up that Lauren Alaina was having voice problems? She does not deserve any pity. The more you try to sway my vote, the more I intensely dislike her. Intensely. Also, I blew out a vocal cord once, it was hemorrhaging, but I still managed to sing in a Christmas concert. You actually use a different part of your vocal cord for singing than you do for talking. And it doesn't hurt at all.

This week, the kids choose their first song from their favorites they've song this season, the second song is chosen for them by their Idol. Carrie Underwood chooses for Lauren and George Strait chooses for Scotty. Their third song is apparently the song that will be their first single. If they win, that is.

Scotty wins the toss, but chooses to go first, so it's like he's trying to jeopardize his chances. Or maybe he's just so confident of the win he wants to prove he can do it no matter what the odds.

Round One
Scotty McCreey: Gone, by some country person - It sounds exactly the same way it sounded the last time he sang it and I didn't listen.

Lauren Alaina: Flat On the Floor, some other country person - I have nothing to say. there no judging?

Round Two
Scotty McCreey: Check Yes or No, George Strait - Oh, look Scotty is singing a country song. Written by a country person and chosen for him by a country person. In a country sorta twangy way.

Somehow, Scotty has gotten cute. I hope he wins. I think he will, but I hope he does. I hope it's a landslide. 

Lauren Alaina: Maybe It Was Memphis, yet a third country person - I hope she loses. 

So here's the judging. Randy says Scotty had a slight edge in Round One and Lauren has a slight edge in Round Two. Let me guess, Round Three will be a tie?

Jennifer agrees with him. Steven gives both rounds to Lauren, cause she's prettier than Scotty. Um, yep.

So those people behind the table are acting like this show has been good so far. It has not. This show absolutely sucks so far.  

And now they are forcing me to watch some person I've never heard of auto-tune his way through some dance beat crap apparently written by American Idol viewers. Well, I had nothing to do with it and I resent Ryan's implication that I was somehow involved.

I've been saving this particular Twitter quote because I knew it would come in handy at some point.  Back in March, @ashman01 (Ashley Edward Miller) said, "I think we can all agree that the inventor of auto-tune needs to be taken out and publicly beaten to death." I believe that time has come.  

Round Three
Scotty McCreey: I Love You This Big - I'm so glad they found something for Jimmy to do this week. It's just not American Idol without him now. At least that's what I always say. The return of the swaybots, however, was something I could have lived without. OK, I feel like I have to weigh in on that song. It was kinda boring.  Laura said, I don't think that's a number one song. 

Lauren Alaina: Like My Mother Does -  Hey, is that a little tiny Leprechaun mandolin player? How cute is he!  Anyway, remember my intense dislike for Lauren from earlier? It has intensified even more since I had to sit here and listen to her sing three country songs. I hope I never, ever hear from or see her again. Ever.

First of all, can I just say how happy I am that we're not going to the concert?

Laura's comments...this is the worst finale ever. There were no standout moments and it was all country. Plus, no one cares about either one of these people.  I couldn't agree more.

It appears that the powers that be have decided that Lauren must win. I guess they just have to have a girl win this year so they don't have a fourth boring-white-guy-with-a-guitar as winner.

This entire show has been bent over backwards for her, to make everything think she was awesome, but she truly was as boring and bland and lifeless as always.  Of course, Carrie was pretty boring, too, and she won, so I guess there's no accounting for taste. My sister just called to ask me what they are hearing that the rest of us aren't? Cause she thinks Scotty was great and Lauren was just so-so.

Personally, I still think Scotty has this thing locked up. Not because I care, but because he's been the top vote getter every week since the beginning. That has to mean something.

I remember when I used to really care about who won this show. This year I'm more focused on hoping that Lauren loses. 

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